Thursday, May 17, 2007

Ruminations on subtitles.

The screenwriter John August is one of the reasons that Hollywood fare is so frakkin' dreadful. He's responsible for a lot of the drivel you see in theaters, notably the Charlie's Angels movie franchise, Big Fish, and other insipid titles only a queer ex-journalist who's only writing movies for the money would write. He did, however, create a rather funny video when he was learning Final Cut Pro which underscores the fact that subtitles can say absolutely anything and people don't really care.

The purpose of this video and post is to enter the world of geekdom vis-a-vis the fact that Cylons speak English to one another instead of having, well, wifi built-in. I mean, I don't expect the toasters to have 802.11 g or even *gasp* draft N, but the idea they'd use such an inefficient language such as English to communicate their master plan is just plain silly.

I did enjoy it when the Cylons sunk their hands into the goo in order to communicate with their base ship - that at least was an interesting invention and seemingly better than subtitles. No human would sink their hands into mucus just to answer a phone call. Other limbs, maybe, but not their precious hands.



Sinker said...

My biggest question is why that video is copyrighted by the Smithsonian!

But you do bring up a good point. I mean, the Cylons obviously need to know english because that's what all the humans speak (speaking of--don't you think that a culture spread over twelve different WORLDS would develop different languages? I mean I can't even understand what someone from Memphis is saying let alone someone from China, but for some reason the Capricans and the Gemenons all speak together just fine??) but why would they speak English not in the presence of an English speaker? Yeah, why not simply beam their thoughts to one another, or speak in old-school, modem tones or whatever?

I think the only explanation is that the Cylons are self-loathing machines and want nothing more than to "pass" as humans. Earlier in the series that self-hatred was projected into a hatred of humans. But now it's just self-loathing period. Except maybe the Quantum Leap dude. He just seems loathing, self or others.

Dr. Anne Elizabeth Moore said...

what an excellent idea for a post-doctoral thesis, dan.

there's another good joke to be made about the actual title of that post doctoral thesis, th part before the colon and then the silly, jokey cliche after it, but I AM TOO FUCKING HUNGRY FOR HOT DOUG'S TO THINK OF IT.

Dr. Anne Elizabeth Moore said...


Paul M. Davis said...

UMMMMMM...You know I WORK right next to HOT DOUG'S, right? How about giving me a call next time there's an excursion and I'll "take a lunch"?